


Find Your Love

by QuietREBelGirlWithVoDKa



Series: Find Your Love 'Verse [1]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Abuse, Contracted Slavery, Emotional Breaking, Explicit Sexual Content, Heavy Angst, Hostage Situations, Human Trafficking, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Life and Death situations, M/M, Manipulation, Secret Relationship, Sexual Slavery, Slavery, Torture, VERY VERY GRAPHIC, Very very dark, not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 00:45:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13202088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietREBelGirlWithVoDKa/pseuds/QuietREBelGirlWithVoDKa
Summary: "The GM said all my orders, Cena."In the chaos that is John Cena being forced to join the Nexus and follow Wade Barrett's every order, can someone show him that there's good in every situation?Originally posted 11/8/2010.





	Find Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Find Your Love
> 
> Pairing: John Cena/Justin Gabriel
> 
> Rating: M
> 
> POV: 3rd
> 
> Summary: In the chaos that is John Cena being forced to join the Nexus and follow Wade Barrett's every order, can someone show him that there's good in every situation?
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own a damned thing.
> 
> Author Notes: So here's what happened. I originally stole this prompt list from livejournal.com/1sentence, and I was just going to write one sentence prompts to get this couple and fandom completely out of my system. As I wrote, however, a whole world kind of unfolded in front of me until suddenly I had way more than one sentence for most of the prompts, and they were in no specific order at all. So I decided instead it would just be a list of prompts with a minimum of one sentence for each one, in order to fully tell these boys' story. The prompts are in chronological order. When I originally started this fanfic all those years ago, it was meant to be a one-off, something nonsensical to get the whole thing out of my head and be done with wrestling. Little did I know this fic would basically turn into my firstborn child with the amount of love I have for it, and the amount of care, dedication, time, effort, and soul I really poured into it. It's one of the darkest stories I've ever written, but still remains one of my favorites to date. I hope you all enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing it. Originally posted 11/8/2010. Cross-posted on fanfiction.
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of Non-con, rape, abuse. M/M

**1\. Smile**

Justin Gabriel hears John Cena punch the wall in the locker room before he even rounds the corner. He sees the older man sitting on the bench in front of his locker, cradling his hand. He knows some of the other guys had gone with Wade to Cena's locker to give him a proper Nexus-style "initiation", but he'd copped out with the excuse that the match with Orton had taken a lot out of him. In reality, he just plain didn't want to go. He'd agreed to play the part of a heel on TV. He didn't really have it in him to be one in real life all the time. Sure, sometimes Wade made him, but if he had a choice? No way.

Justin accidentally nudges the door and hears it creak as it opens wider. His eyes open wider as well, and Cena's head snaps up, their eyes locking.

"What the fuck do you want?" Cena spits angrily.

Justin jumps, but takes a deep breath and opens the door, stepping into the room. He can't stop his gasp when he notices what has happend. Cena's locker has been completely trashed. His things are scattered around, many of them completely destroyed, some just thrown around. Someone has written "Hustle, Loyalty, Respect", but has crossed out Hustle and replaced it with Nexus. All across Cena's locker door, someone has spray painted "GIVE UP" in a thick black. He unconsciously brings a hand to his mouth as he surveys the damage. Justin finally looks back to Cena, whose expression has changed.

"Wait, you didn't have anything to do with this?" Cena asks skeptically.

Justin figures Cena has every right to be wary. He just shakes his head.

"I don't, um. I'm not really like that? I mean, I'm not really an asshole." Justin tries, sitting down next to the older on the bench. "I only do this stuff when I have to. Like, when it's in the script, or when Wade makes me."

Cena's expression grows puzzled.

"Makes you?" the older inquires.

"Yea. Contract and all that." Justin attempts to dodge the question. "What I mean is, I don't really like all this. It's just not me. So no, I didn't have anything to do with this."

"Did you know?" Cena asks.

Justin flinches.

"Do you really think I could have stopped them?" he fires back.

Cena is quiet for a moment.

"I guess not." The superstar says quietly.

The two sit next to each other in silence for a few minutes, not even looking at each other. Out of the corner of his eye, Justin notices Cena is holding a piece of paper tightly in his hand.

"What's that?" he asks, turning to the older man with a confused look.

Cena hands the paper over.

_You're Nexus now. Put your shit where it belongs. This is an order._

_-W. Barrett_

Justin's eyes narrow.

"What an asshole." he mutters.

He's unaware he's said it aloud until he hears Cena laugh slightly beside him. He turns to the older and shares a small smile. Justin gets nervous and coughs.

"How's, uh. How's your hand?" Justin asks, motioning to the limb in question.

"You heard that, huh?" Cena responds, looking down at his lap where his hands are resting.

"Hard to miss." Justin jokes.

Cena laughs again.

"I bet it was." The Superstar says. Out of nowhere, he extends his hand to the young high flyer. "John Cena. My friends call me John. I guess you can call me John."

Justin colors just a bit. John's smile gets a little bigger. Justin shakes his hand.

"Uhm. Paul Lloyd, Jr. Everyone knows me as Justin Gabriel though. My friends call me Justin." Justin explains.

John laughs.

"Please, call me Justin." Justin says almost gently.

Justin watches John's face soften, and offers forth the smallest of smiles. Suddenly, he hops up and starts grabbing John's things that aren't damaged.

"Here, let me help you get this stuff. Then, I guess we'll move it to our locker room." Justin says, kneeling down to snatch up something else.

John slides off the bench and kneels down beside Justin, picking a few things up as well. Their shoulders bump each other and they turn and look at each other with matching grins. Justin thinks to himself that maybe, just maybe, John gets it. Maybe they can be friends after all. He just hopes John will be able to trust him.

 

**2\. Bonds**

Originally, Justin had thought that moving in with Wade and Heath was a great idea, that Wade was doing them a real favor since they hadn't won, helping them out until they got on their feet. Now, however, he sees it for what it really is: a way to bind them to him, to leave them stranded with nowhere else to possibly go, to leave them helpless and always at his beck and call. Thinking about what an idiot he was makes him sick.

 

**3\. Gift**

Justin's skills in the ring truly are a gift. John's been doing this for most of his life, professionally for the better part of it, and he still can't touch some of Justin's moves. He's constantly in awe of the younger man, learning more about the high flyer that fascinates him every single day. Something keeps drawing him to this young talent, and he's determined to find out what it is. In the meantime, however, he'll just watch on in wonder and amazement as Justin pulls off move after move with ease, perfectly.

 

**4\. Technology**

After their initial formal meeting, Justin spends the majority of his free time talking to John. They hang out in person whenever they can, but with the way Barrett orders them both around and essentially rules their schedules, finding time to see each other face to face is hard. Whenever they're not around each other, however, their inboxes are filled with texts and e-mails.

One night, Justin's sitting in his room at the house when he gets an e-mail from John with a link, and a simple "Download this and send me your username." It's a program called Skype. He has no idea what it is, but he downloads and installs it, making an account and sending the name in a response e-mail to John. He jumps when, moments later, a window pops up on his screen. John smiles back at him from the screen.

"What do you think?" John's voice spills from his speakers.

Justin blushes furiously. John laughs. He's confused until he notices his own face on the screen in the corner of the window.

"It's certainly interesting." he finally comments.

"See, this way we can see each other even when Barrett doesn't want us to. Cool, right?" John asks, excited.

Justin just nods, wondering what exactly he's gotten himself into.

 

**5\. Sun**

The first time John entertains the fact that he could maybe, possibly, have feelings for Justin Gabriel is the first night they ever share a hotel room. John wakes up first, because they forgot to shut the curtains back before they fell asleep the night before. They'd stayed up late into the night talking and watching movies, inadvertantly passing out in the same bed. John considers getting up to close the curtains so he can go back to sleep when he abruptly notices the way the sunlight is falling on the other man.

The sun is highlighting the golden brown of Justin's tanned skin, and his hair nearly glistens. Justin looks so raw, so open like this. Exposed. John looks at him and he can't resist the urge to touch him. The older runs his hand as lightly as he can down Justin's back, just feeling the skin. He's warm, and it makes John bite down on his bottom lip. John's unsure what he's doing as he trails his fingers back up and lightly into Justin's hair. He leans in and just breathes, taking in Justin's scent, his sheer essence.

Just as he's about to press his lips to the side of Justin's neck, he hears the high flyer groan and feels him begin to roll over. He pulls back, lying back down where he was as quickly as he can, pretending to be asleep once again. This time, his back is to Justin. Out of nowhere, a tanned arm is slung around him as Justin finishes rolling over. The South African draws himself closer and John tries to tune it out. As he falls back asleep, curled up with Gabriel, he's unsure of exactly what he's feeling. That thought only scares him a little bit.

 

**6\. Wind**

They have a day off at the beach, by some miracle, and Justin and John have spent the whole day together talking and laughing and realizing just how much they have in common. Justin thinks it shouldn't really come as a surprise when John presses himself up against him to shield him from the wind whipping all around them as they hide in the cove. He figures he shouldn't be shocked when John leans in and gently, nervously, slides his lips across Justin's own for the first time. It's chaste, and tender, and slightly terrifying, and even though Justin _knows_ it shouldn't be so unexpected, it takes his breath away. Justin wonders if this is because he had almost, finally, worked up the courage to do it first.

 

**7\. Taste**

Kissing Justin is almost nothing like kissing a girl, except for the part where underneath all the tongue, and teeth, and pleasure, and aggression, and energy, there's a taste that's purely Justin and nothing else. It's enough to occasionally make John go weak at the knees, even if he'll never admit it.

 

**8\. Chocolate**

Occasionally, John will send Justin chocolates anonymously before a match, just to remind the younger that no matter what, he's rooting for him. Seeing the smile on the South African's face when he finds them in the locker room always makes the sneaking around worth it.

 

**9\. Kiss**

It seems the only time they get to kiss now is in these stolen moments, when they slip off to "work out" in the middle of the night, but that just makes it mean more when they finally do.

 

**10\. Soft**

For all the aggression the two men have pent up, and despite the sheer amount of time they've just _wanted_ , the first time that John and Justin do sleep together is more careful than Justin could have ever imagined. As John slides slowly into him and leans down to kiss him tenderly, Justin thinks he wouldn't have it any other way.

 

**11\. Innocence**

Despite everything, John manages to maintain an almost oblivious innocence to the whole thing that helps keep Justin's head on straight when he needs it most.

 

**12\. Hell**

"Excuse me?" John says, raising an eyebrow at the dark haired man.

"You heard me. Suck me off, Cena." Wade replies, smirking at the other.

"Man, fuck you. Suck your own dick, you fucking cartoon character." John snaps.

He isn't expecting the knee that winds up in his gut. He doubles over, hitting his knees and trying to catch his breath. He coughs a few times, wincing. Suddenly, Wade's cock is in his face.

"The GM said ALL my orders, John." Wade says, almost thrusting forward. John glares at the use of his first name. "Well, this is an order. I order you...to get me off. Right now."

 

**13\. Sensual**

The way Barrett manhandles him is anything but sensual. In fact, he feels like he's being torn apart. But, he's a member of the Nexus, and this is how the Nexus works. _And_ , he thinks, _at least this way, it's not him._

 

**14\. Comfort**

Even on the worst of days, Justin revels in the fact that no matter what, John will always be waiting in their room to help him forget what's actually going on, if just for a moment.

 

**15\. Pain**

John doesn't say anything as Justin bandages him up from the latest attack, but the way Justin sees him have to struggle to keep a straight face as the younger's fingers ghost over his sides makes the high-flyer physically ache for him.

 

**16\. Forever**

John never dreamed he'd say the words first, and especially never to another man, a Nexus member for fuck's sake. But as Justin finally finds his breath and wraps his arms around him, pressing a shaky "I love you, too" into John's shoulder, he decides it's not necessarily a bad thing.

 

**17\. Happiness**

Something in Gabriel's smile lately has gotten Wade intrigued as to what could be causing the boy such happiness. Whatever it is, Wade's determined to find out, and when he does, he'll crush the flame that keeps the younger burning so brightly. He will break this boy, one way or another. He's sure of it.

 

**18\. Confusion**

John is perplexed when he realizes that everyone's been paired off and gone to their room except for himself and Justin. The two of them have only been lucky enough to have a room once before, very shortly after John had been forced to join Nexus and had been made to travel with them. Every other time, Wade had made sure typically that either John or Justin was paired with him. There was the rare occasion that neither of them was, but no matter what the setup, they had never been paired with each other.

John hears a familiar voice clear their throat behind him and he turns to see the young high flyer smiling almost secretly at him. He gives his lover a puzzled look, but shrugs his bag further up on his shoulder and follows the younger to the elevator. The moment the doors shut, John feels Justin's hand grab his and their fingers lace together. He glances over at Justin, but the boy is staring straight ahead. His face is tinged pink and there's a light smile gracing his features. John smiles as well and turns back to face the doors.

The doors open on the same floor as everyone else, and Justin releases John's hand, leading the way. He unlocks their door once they reach it and walks in first. When Justin turns around and gives John a smirk, the older loses the control he'd had. He hurries through the door, closing it behind him and dropping his bags.

John's on Justin in an instant. He takes the younger's face in his hands and presses their lips together tenderly. Justin drops his bags and John backs him up against the wall, putting every second he's missed doing this into the kiss. Justin tugs on John's lower lip just slightly before pulling back all together, causing the older man to groan at the loss. John inhales deeply, closing his eyes to compose himself, and takes a step back. He looks his lover from head to toe.

"Okay. I give. How'd you pull this one off?" John asks, smiling and crossing his arms over his chest.

"You forget, we're in South Florida, baby!" Justin exclaims, spreading his arms wide. "I know the girl who's working the front desk. When I got the list of dates for the next month and found out where we were going to be staying, I called to see if she still worked here. Sure enough, she does! So I asked her for a favor. Told her in advance that when they checked us in, you and I needed to share a room, and bam! She made it happen."

John smiles impossibly brighter.

"Well, you are just full of suprises, aren't you, baby?" John inquires, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around his smaller lover.

Justin beams.

"I can be."

"Why are we wasting this perfectly good hotel room, then?" John asks, dipping his head to kiss Justin softly again. "Why don't you show me a few more of those suprises, huh?"

"You read my mind." Justin agrees, running his nails ever so slightly down John's back.

John is starting to think it's going to be a long night.

 

**19\. Potatoes**

Justin's helping John make Wade mashed potatoes late one night when John sighs in frustration. He throws the fork he'd been holding in the sink and turns around, leaning with his back against the counter. Justin wipes his hands off on a towel and turns to look at his almost enraged lover. John meets his gaze.

"We don't have to put up with this shit, y'know." John reasons.

"What are you talking about?" Justin asks.

"We're strong. You know, like, six kinds of martial arts. I've been training like this for years. We're not exactly a force to be trifled with, yknow? Plus, I've got loads of friends who are pros who would probably help us out." John says, getting more excited by the moment. "Think about it. We could take down the Nexus for good."

Justin looks down at the floor for a moment, really thinking things over. Taking down the Nexus? Sure, not being at Barrett's beck and call and not being the group's punching bag sounded fucking amazing, like the best thing in the whole world...but what would that ultimately mean for him? His contract is only through the Nexus. If they disbanded, did that mean he no longer had a contract? He'd come this far; he wasn't about to let go of his dream now. Not even for this.

"What about me?" Justin prods nervously.

John stops. Justin feels his lover's eyes boring into his skin and he turns and looks at him.

"What do you mean?" John asks.

"I mean, my contract. I'm only contracted in the WWE through Nexus. If they disband, what happens to me?" Justin's this short of his tone of voice being a demand.

"We'll get you your own contract!" John exclaims. "Come on, you're so good. You've already more than proven yourself. How can they not take you?"

"I've already done so many bad things, though. Why would they take me solo?" Justin respods softly, hanging his head again.

Suddenly, a shadow falls over him and he sees John's feet come almost toe to toe with his. Strong arms envelope him in a hug as John pulls the young high flyer closer to him. Justin feels the older press a kiss to his hair.

"It'll all work out. I'll make sure of it." John explains, his voice different, soothing. "I just don't want to see you hurt anymore."

Justin pulls his head up and looks John in the eye.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to. It was just an idea." John says.

Justin gazes deep into John's eyes, searching, examining. The younger's eyes harden with a new determination.

"No. I want to." he says, suddenly very sure. John doesn't even ask if he is.

"We'll figure out how, then." John replies, pulling Justin closer and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

Justin smiles and returns the kiss. Still, he can't shake the fear that something is going to go terribly wrong.

 

**20\. Rain**

The rain is cold, but his skin is hot, and as Justin sinks into John's embrace in the grass outside the training facility, the younger man lets out a soft sigh.

"I hate that we have to fucking sneak around like this." Justin whispers against John's skin as he lays kisses across the other's shoulders.

John tilts Justin's head up and seals their lips together softly.

"Shh. Don't worry about that right now. Right now we're here, and we're together, and that's all that matters." John mutters.

Justin just kisses his lover again before resting his head on John's chest, letting the rain wash over both of them gently.

 

**21\. Name**

"Paul."

And Justin freezes, because John's the only one anymore who calls him by his real name, and he ony does it when they're having sex, or when John's being extra serious. The South African turns around slowly, finally meeting his lover's eyes.

"I mean it. If this doesn't work, we have to try and get you your own contract outside of the Nexus." John says, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Justin. "I'm not gonna let you keep getting hurt like this by them."

Justin's expression hardens and he brushes John off.

"And I'm not leaving you here alone to take it all by yourself." Justin growls out. "I love you, John. I just wish you understood that."

 

**22\. Hair**

John huffs out another sigh, and Justin barely stifles his laugh. He remembers John can see in the mirror too when the older man meets his eyes and glares a bit. Justin doesn't even try to mask it now; he outright laughs. John has been standing in the doorway to the bathroom, his arms crossed, lips drawn into a slight pout, the entire time Justin has been getting things ready to dye his hair. Wade had told Justin to fix it when he'd noticed how light it had gotten once again and John was _not happy about it_. John rolls his eyes away from Justin's, and Justin turns to face him, shaking the bottle of dye in one gloved hand.

"What's the big deal? It's just hair." Justin snickers. "It'll grow back out, just like it does every other time. You know my hair doesn't hold dye."

John drops his arms and steps into the room, tucking his fingers into Justin's hair. He dips his head down and rubs his face in the dark golden locks, inhaling deeply.

"Mmm, but you know how much I love it natural." John mutters.

"And you know that if it was up to me, I'd leave it like this. But it's not, so I'm dyeing it." Justin replies, popping the cap on the dye bottle. "It's okay. Give it three weeks."

John steps back and huffs out another sigh. "Alright. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

The older turns and walks out of the room when Justin begins working the black coloring into his hair. Watching would just piss him off even more.

 

**23\. Waves**

The second time they manage to score a day off near a beach, John's surprised to learn that Justin can surf, but the way the high flyer whips in and out and over and around the waves with ease alludes to years of practice. John just stares on in awe, unable to think of anything to even say.

 

**24\. Telephone**

"Matt, you have to talk to him. Please. He'll actually listen to you." John pleads with the older wrestler.

"He hasn't spoken to me in months, Cena. Hasn't answered my calls, hasn't returned my voicemails, hasn't acknowledged my texts. What in the hell makes you think he wants to talk to me now?" Matt all but snaps.

"He's in a bad way," John tries to explain "and I think he thinks he can't get out. Matt, you have to make him see he can. He's not stuck here like me. He doesn't have to take this shit."

"Why do you think he'll listen to me all of a sudden?" Matt asks.

"He trusts you, Matt. You were his mentor. Just...please talk to him. Please." John says. Sighs. "I can't stand to see him get hurt anymore."

And, _Oh my God_ , Matt thinks, _they're together_.

"I don't know how much of a difference I'll make, John," Matt says softly. "But I'll sure as fuck try."

 

**25\. Clouds**

Justin's on cloud 9, so of course he gets careless. He's not sure what to think when Heath corners him in the locker room one night.

"What's got your head off floating in space lately?" Heath asks.

Justin jumps, startled. He turns around and offers his friends casual smile.

"What are you talking about?" Justin responds with a half laugh.

"I mean you've been distracted a lot recently. Not on camera or anything. You've always got that down pretty well. But offscreen? You're all over the place!" Heath elaborates.

Justin laughs. "I don't know, man. I mean, I've been talking to my mom a bit more lately. I've been missing her, so that's been nice." Justin lies smoothly. He'd shake his own hand if he could.

"That's awesome, man. I've been missing my mom lately, too. I should call her soon." Heath says, hand on his chin, deep in thought.

"Yea, you should. I bet she'd love to hear from you." Justin suggests.

Suddenly, Heath snaps to atention. "You might want to get back on your game though, dude."

"Why do you say that?" Justin inquires with a hint of nervousness.

"Barrett's been wondering about you. He wants to start keeping a closer eye on you. I'd give him a reason not to if I were you." Heath warns.

Justin feels the chill straight down to his bones. All he can do is nod.

 

**26\. Jealousy**

The free and easy way Gabriel smiles and just fucking refuses to back down makes Wade want to slap the expression right off his stupid fucking face.

 

**27\. Melody**

Justin hates that he's barely suppressing tears as he lays in bed next to John, who has managed to sneak into his window again. He'd had a particularly rough session that night with Wade, not just physically, but emotionally. He's bruised, and he's drained, and he feels absolutely worthless, and he just _aches_. He has no idea why John even wants to be around him right now, after everything that's happened today. He doesn't even want to be around himself.

Yet, here John is, hovering over him as he lays on his stomach, leaning down and littering kisses around his shoulders. Justin takes in a quivering breath.

"Justin Angel, what a joke." he mumbles. "How are you even here right now?"

"Because I care about you." John explains gently, nuzzling the back of Justin's neck as his lover shakes just a bit.

"I don't understand why." Justin grits out. "I'm a fucking waste of space. I just, I just let them do this to me, and I don't do anything about it! I just let them use me for whatever the fuck they want. When it comes right down to it, all I'm worth to them is a pretty face for the magazines and a quick fuck. The only time I'm happy is when I'm in the ring. Or...with you."

"I'm here whenever you need me, baby. You know you mean more to me than that." John says, ghosting soft kisses onto Justin's spine.

Justin does know, he just gets scared sometimes. Scared that John will see how worthless he is, how he's just some lowlife ex rookie who's only still in the WWE because he lets his wrestling group pass him around like a cheap slutty punching bag. Justin registers John humming as he lets his lips trail all over the younger's back.

"But what happens if Wade finds out? He'll take you away from me, or worse." Justin said. "I love you too much for that to happen."

John doesn't respond for a moment, still humming his way back up Justin's spine. Suddenly, it clicks with Justin where he's heard the song before. As John gets back up to his lover's ear, Justin starts to smile. John opens his mouth and presses the words tenderly into Justin's flesh, just below his ear, and it begins to reassure the younger, just a bit.

"I bet if I give all my love, then nothing's gonna tear us apart."

 

**28\. Star**

They're laying in a clearing behind some bushes in the park. They've somehow managed to sneak away from the hotel with anyone noticing. They're reclined side by side next to each other, staring up at the stars. Thankfully, the city they're in tonight isn't too huge and they can actually see the stars walking distance from the hotel. Justin sighs, his arms folded behind his head.

"Do you ever wish things were different?" Justin offers quietly, then backtracks, hearing the way it sounds out loud. "I don't mean like, do you wish we'd never met or anything! Just, like...not like this?"

John laughs at Justin's need to clarify.

"I knew what you meant." he returns. He ponders Justin's question for a moment before, "Sometimes, I guess I do. I mean, you have no idea how much it kills me to watch them do this to you, and I hate that we have to sneak around so damned much. But at the same time, I think the fact that we're in this situation makes us stronger, and makes it mean more. So, I guess I'm really not sure."

Justin rolls this over in his mind for a minute. He agrees with John one hundred percent. But it shows him just how much John really does care about him, and the feeling is overwhelming. Justin can't speak. Suddenly a light streaks across the sky, and Justin perks up.

"Shooting star. Make a wish."

They both close their eyes and send their wishes- John for Justin to be safe and happy, Justin for John to be able to break free from Barrett's clutches- up to the sky. Suddenly, Justin feels John move to straddle and lean over him. He grins and lets his eyes flutter softly open just in time for John to swoop down and capture his lips in a tender, heartfelt kiss. John drags his teeth across Justin's lower lip, drawing a low groan from the younger man, before pulling back and just staring into his eyes.

"I love you. No matter how we met." John whispers against Justin's lips.

Justin tilts his head up and kisses John softly as well.

"I love you too. So much. And I'm glad we did." Justin murmurs.

As John dips down again, he thinks, he has no idea what he'd do without the younger man. He hopes he never has to find out.

Unfortunately, neither of them notice Otunga sneaking away through the trees.

 

**29\. Market**

The way the WWE chooses to advertise Justin enrages John so much sometimes it makes him sick. He's tired of them always making him cheat to win when he so obviously has the talent and skills to do it on his own.

 

**30\. Ears**

"Do my ears deceive me, or have I actually been hearing tell of the two of you having a relationship a little bit more friendly than is allowed?" Barrett asks, staring down the two of them.

Justin holds his breath.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Wade." John says, staring Barrett down just as hard.

Barrett looks between them, his gaze finally resting on Justin. The younger barely holds back his urge to squirm.

"You had better hope you don't." Barrett says before he turns and walks out of the room.

 

**31\. Moon**

The moonlight is the only light in the room. The lovers know they have to be as discreet as they possibly can be; Wade's sleeping just down the hall. They're taking a big risk doing this in the house, but they haven't even been able to have any time alone hardly in days. John hadn't been able to take it anymore. Wade had been watching him like a hawk lately, and that alone had been driving the Superstar crazy. Everything piling up had led him to sneak into Justin's window late tonight.

Now, they're completely wrapped up in each other, Justin's arms wrapped tightly around John as the older thrusts steadily in and out of him. Justin pants heavily, biting down hard on the shirt he's stuffed into his mouth to keep from making any noise. John has somehow mastered the art of near silent sex. Besides the things John keeps whispering right against Justin's ear, the older only lets out a slight groan every once in a while, but Justin can tell from the way John shakes that he's lost in the pleasure as well.

"God, feel so good." John whispers, pressing soft kisses to Justin's pulse point on his neck. "Love you so much."

Justin shivers against John, whimpering just slightly around the shirt.

"Shh, my love. We have to be quiet." John mumbles, running his teeth across Justin's collarbone. "Fuck, you drive me crazy."

Justin thrashes his head back and forth, trying with everything in him to not make a single sound. It's getting so hard, especially when John reaches down to tug his already leaking member in time with his thrusts that just keep pounding against _that spot_ inside him. Justin's back arches up off the bed, and John slides an arm under him, steadying the high flyer.

"Easy, I've got you." John mouths right against his ear.

The older's movements become more erratic, faster, harder. Justin knows he's close.

"Come on, baby. Just let go. I've got you." The Superstar repeats, pulling the shirt out of the younger's mouth and kissing him with everything he's got.

Justin moans his appreciation into John's mouth, releasing all over the two of them as his climax crashes into him like a wave. John follows in nearly the same breath, making Justin almost sob with pleasure.

When they've finally come down and John's pulled out, tossing the condom in the trash can, he lays there holding Justin, stroking his now sweat-soaked hair for the better part of an hour before either of them says anything.

"I'm glad you came over." Justin finally says as quietly as he can.

John places a quick kiss on his lips.

"Me too." John replies just as softly. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. So damned much." Justin returns. "I love you."

John looks Justin over from head to toe before leaning down to kiss him again.

"I love you, too." he finally says.

John understands that he'll do anything to make sure this boy stays in his life. He just hopes one of these days, soon, "anything" won't include having to do everything in silent shadows like this.

 

**32\. Touch**

John shakes, he's so _fucking_ mad. How goddamn dare Wade lay his hands on Justin like that? And in the middle of a match, too. Justin hadn't even done anything! He'd bounced off the ropes to deliver a blow to Randy Orton and right as he'd gotten to where Wade stood, the older man's elbow slammed into Justin's face. All the momentum the younger'd had going had made the hit that much harder as well, and his nose had instantly started bleeding, his face swelling. Justin had reached up to touch his face with both hands, bringing them back and staring at the way they were covered in blood. He'd looked at Wade in shock for a moment before he had just _dropped_. Wade had just stared at Justin's limp figure, smirking. John wanted to choke the fuck out of him just thinking about it.

Suddenly, familiar hands are on his skin and arms wrap around him from behind. John feels a wave of calm begin to wash over him as a chest comes into contact with his back. Justin presses a soft kiss to the side of John's neck and the older smiles, bringing a hand up to grasp Justin's arms where they're crossed over his chest. In this moment, John completely forgets the day and his anger and just relaxes. Justin's the only person who's ever been able to pacify him this quickly, and he takes pleasure in this fact. He turns to kiss his lover, and accidentally bumps the younger's nose. Justin hisses in pain and backs away just a bit reflexively.

...and now, the anger's back.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." John mutters, pulling back a bit more and turning to really get a good look at Justin. He takes the younger man's face in his hands carefully and examines him, scanning every inch. "How do you feel?"

"Sore?" Justin replies. He colors lightly under John's scrutiny. "I bet it looks like shit, huh?"

John almost laughs. He drops his hands back to his lap, but continues to inspect his lover carefully.

"Justin, he broke your fucking _face_." John says, only just keeping the rage from slipping into his voice. "I don't give a damn what it looks like. I'm just glad you're going to be okay."

"It's just a few bones." Justin mumbles just loud enough for John to catch.

"In your _face_ , Justin. He could have seriously injured you. Like, crushed your nasal passageway, or broken your eye socket, or something worse." John explains, trying to make this as clear as possible to the younger man. "But he still hurt you really badly. Baby, your nose is nearly shattered, you're missing three teeth, and your left cheek is practically crushed. He _hurt_ you. For no good reason. In the middle of a match, for fuck's- Jesus FUCK, I could just..."

Justin's arms are back around him, from the front this time. John closes his eyes and buries his face in the African's shoulder, inhaling deeply. Justin's lips find the pulse point on John's neck again, and the older man's breathing evens out. He brings his own arms up to wrap around the smaller, holding him close. As Justin's touch sedates him once more, John is unexpectedly hit with the realization that, if he had to, he would die for this man. He's not sure if it makes him crazy or not that somewhere deep inside, he's perfectly okay with this.

 

**33\. Death**

"Okay, that's it." Barrett says loudly. He claps a hand down on John's shoulder where he kneels on the ground. "From this point forward, nobody touches him but me. Is that understood?"

Justin is amazed at the way John's face is the picture of composure. He really is a great actor, after all. Justin, himself, is having a much more difficult time. He can't help the way his hair stands on end on the back of his neck. Does Wade know? Evidentially, he at least expects something with someone.

But more importantly, now what's going to happen? Being caught together will result in nothing but tragedy. But being separated is a fate worse than death.

 

**34\. Sky**

John swipes his hands over his face. He can't handle this anymore. He and Justin had spent the night stealthily pretending Justin wasn't crying himself to sleep. Once he'd finally fallen into an uneasy slumber, John had slipped out of bed quietly and made his way out to the balcony. He's sitting outside, watching the stars and trying his damndest to take deep breaths. He's just so fucking frustrated. He's tired of the way that they treat him and Justin.

Seems more often than not lately that Justin is walking around just hollow, going through the motions. Many nights have been spent with Justin masking tears from the punishments he's received from Barrett. It makes John hurt for his lover. He hears Justin tossing and turning through the door and he turns around just as the younger settles back down. John watches him for a moment more before letting out a soft sigh and turning his attention back to the night sky.

John's not normally the praying type, but he puts as much emotion as he can muster into a single prayer, one wish, for Justin to be okay and for them to make it out of it alright. He can't possibly bear to see Justin hurt anymore. As he sends the prayer off to the heavens, a single tear for the one he loves slides down his face. Justin _will_ escape from this. He'll make sure of it.

 

**35\. Sex**

"It's not as bad as you think." Justin tries to explain.

John feels nauseous at the way the other has just come to accept the treatment. He holds it back as he speaks.

"Y'know what, maybe it's okay to you, but I'm not really cool with kissing MY BOYFRIEND and knowing someone else was fucking him earlier." John snaps. He's had it with the way the rest of Nexus uses the younger man. He's fucking done.

 

**36\. Weakness**

John knows, is completely positive, that nothing and no one else has ever made him feel this powerless in his entire life.

 

**37\. Hands**

The day finally comes that John snaps. The circumstances come completely out of left field, and despite John knowing they were set in place in order to make him react, he can't not do it. The Nexus had been returning to the locker room as a group from a match when Barrett walked up and slung his arm around Justin's shoulders. Justin had instantly begun to walk a little straighter, stand a little taller.

"You're mine in the locker room." Barrett had said, glancing out the corner of his eye over at John.

Immediately, both men were overcome with a sinking, creeping feeling of trepidation that shook them to the core. Neither let it show. Justin just nodded, assuming it would be after everyone cleared out, as always.

Instead, Justin startles when he's shoved to his knees the second they get to their lockers and Wade tugs himself out of his pants. Justin's eyes widen and he looks up at Barrett, then around at everyone else. His face colors, darkens, and he turns back to Wade. The Nexus leader just smirks down at him.

"What are you waiting for, Gabriel? You know what to do." he says, placing his hand on the back of Justin's head and pushing him a bit more towards his cock.

And it's not as if he hasn't done it in front of everyone before, they all have, he just hasn't done it in front of _John_ before, and he doesn't want to start now. At the same time, he doesn't know how he's going to get out of it. He refuses to look at John, refuses to see the look on his face, the revulsion at what he's been reduced to.

"Can...can we not wait til later?" Justin tries softly.

Everyone else goes quiet, now completely tuned into this exchange.

"No. We can't. Now, I said you're mine. You know what to do. Now get. On it." Barrett bites out.

Justin still hesitates. Everyone watches fixedly, in complete silence. No one has ever done this before, save for Cena. Barrett finally growls and weaves his fingers into Justin's hair, jerking his head forward into his crotch. He uses his free hand to plug the smaller man's nose and waits until his mouth snaps open for air, then thrusts his dick in, freeing Justin's nose. Barrett uses his grip on the younger's hair to force Justin to do what he was so reluctant to before.

For the first time, Justin struggles against Wade's power until the British man finally releases him. He stumbles backwards, lands on his ass and rolls onto his back, coughing brutally. Barrett gives him a moment before he's on him again, grabbing Justin by the hair once more and forcing the younger to look at him.

"What in the hell is your problem?" Barrett nearly screamed. "You've done this in front of everyone before with no problems."

Barrett quiets down and the smirk returns.

"Everyone but Cena." he says, and they know they've been caught.

Justin looks away, and it's all the confirmation Wade needs. The Nexus leader gets a look of malice on his face, and then his free hand is coming up and connecting with the side of Justin's head.

John sees red. The next thing he knows, he's scooped Barrett up by the front of the shirt and slammed him up against the lockers. He punches Wade once, and then jerks him forward, smashing his face into the bench. Justin's pulled himself back up and into a sitting position against some other lockers. Slater hesitates, but finally drops to one knee to check on his bleeding companion. Justin turns just in time to see John throw Barrett into the lockers once more. Despite their difference in size, John seems to loom over Wade right now, staring him down with all his pent up aggression filling his gaze.

"Don't you ever fucking lay your hands on him like that again. Do you hear me, you stupid son of a bitch?" John snaps.

Wade shoves John off of him, wincing and wiping the blood from his mouth. John steps partially in front of Justin, still glaring at the leader. Wade just laughs.

"You're going to get fired for that, Cena. And when you do, no one is going to be here to protect him." Barrett sneers, spitting blood onto the ground next to him.

"I fucking HOPE they fire me, Barrett. Because then, nothing's going to stop me from giving you the ass kicking you really fucking deserve." John snaps back, invading Barrett's space as he steps up almost toe to toe with him.

At that, John turns and helps Justin up. Slater stands and takes a step back. He just nods at John, sharing a look of almost understanding with him. John knows, even as they leave, that he's just opened the floodgates, but he can't bring himself to care. Justin lets out a noise between a whimper and a groan and wipes more blood from his lip, and John knows there are more important matters at hand. They'd just have to take it as it came at them.

 

**38\. Devotion**

His face still aches from Barrett's punch in the locker room days before, but every time Justin sees the damage in the mirror, he smiles just a little. It's his own little reminder that when it came down to it, he and John would choose each other, one hundred percent of the time.

 

**39\. Sickness**

Justin i so nervous about what's going to happen now that Wade knows about him and John that he's constantly nauseous. Before, John had said that the two of them could take on Nexus together. Now though, he isn't so sure. Either way, he isn't looking forward at all to what's sure to come.

 

**40\. Lightning/Thunder**

They're tangled together on John's bed at his apartment when they hear the front door slam open. John presses a quick kiss to Justin's lips, putting as much emotion as he can into it before they jump up, fully prepared. The bedroom door crashes open as well and John instantly swings. Otunga drops to the ground, John's fist having caught him perfectly in the temple. He and Justin fight as much as they can, holding the other Nexus members back effectively for a moment.

Simultaneously, Justin watches Harris slam John face first into the wall, and the high flyer is tackled from behind by McGillicutty and Slater at the same time. He screams as he watches John just slump forward in Harris's arms. He struggles desparately against his captors as Barrett walks into the room, surveying the damage. Barrett smiles and Justin growls, struggling harder.

"Tie him up, like I told you." Barrett says to the two on Justin.

Justin turns to look, terrified, at Heath, tears already beginning to pool in his eyes. The other is supposed to be his friend. Surely he won't just go along with all this. However, when Heath's face floods with remorse, Justin squeezes his eyes shut tight, salty trails starting to run down his face. He fights back heavy sobs as he realizes they are so, so fucked.

 

**41\. Tears**

John hears Justin whine and struggle fiercly against his bonds, and he has to close his eyes. He squeezes them tight, determined to block out the smaller's cries. John's trying desperately to catch his breath. He feels like he's got broken ribs. Probably, he does. The other Nexus members have been taking turns kicking and throwing him around for the better part of an hour, while Justin, tied tightly with multiple ropes to a steel support beam, has been forced to watch on. As soon as one tires, another is ready to jump back in. They seem to be taking a break for a moment. Not that it matters, because John's not sure he could get up anyway. He finally turns and glances upon his lover's face.

Justin's cheeks glisten with salty trails, and his eyes are glassy and wet. John's instincts kick in and his body tries to pick itself up to go and wipe the tears from the smaller man's face. He fails and winces in pain. He hears Justin cry harder.

"Fuck! Please, leave him alone! I'll do whatever you fucking want, just _please stop_!" Justin sobs out, pulling hard against the ropes.

John's not sure how much more he can take before he finally blacks out from the sheer amount of pain, but as Barrett turns and directs his attention to the young South African, John just knows he's going to find out. He closes his eyes, grits his teeth against the pain, and shoves himself up, throwing the hardest punch he can. It connects spot on with the back of Barrett's head, and they fall together.

Justin may be upset, but right now he's safe, and John will do anything in his power to keep it that way.

 

**42\. Blood**

John comes to right as they're dragging a struggling and screaming Justin out the door of the warehouse. He knows there's not a chance in hell he'll be able to get over to them in time to stop them from leaving, so he doesn't even try. He doesn't even so much as move in order to avoid drawing any attention to himself. Right now, he has a chance, and he won't let it go.

The door slams shut and a few moments later, he hears the van drive off. John looks around, closely examining his surroundings for anything at all to help him. He lets out a noise he was unaware he could make and almost cries in relief when he notices a cell phone lying a few feet away. He figures it got knocked out of someone's pocket when he was fighting back. He doesn't really care. All that matters is that it's here now.

John struggles but manages to push himself up just enough to drag his body over to where the phone lies. As his fingers close around it, he feels a few tears slide down his face. They're saved. He flips it open and dials the first person who comes to mind.

"Hello?" Randy Orton grunts from the other end.

John coughs furiously when he tries to respond, spitting blood onto the pavement. He can't even wipe his mouth, he hurts so badly.

"Who the fuck is this? Do you have any idea what time it is?" Randy practically hisses.

John realizes belatedly he has no idea what time it is. He coughs a bit more before managing a response.

"It's John." he chokes out.

"What? John? What's wrong?" Randy rushes out.

"I'm hurt. Nexus-" he breaks off again into another painful fit of coughing.

"Where are you? I'm coming to get you. I'll be right there, don't worry." Randy says hurriedly, and John can hear him getting up and throwing clothes on.

"Not me. I don't know where I am. Don't worry about me. I'll call an ambulance. They can find me. They have GPS." John says before gasping a bit. "You have to stop them. They have Justin."

"What the fuck difference does that make?" Randy almost snaps. "I'm coming to get you, John."

"Not me, Randy. They have _Justin_." John half sobs. "You have to help him. Please, Randy. I'll be fine. Please save him."

Randy's quiet for a bit. John bites back his tears, refusing to let himself break down. He lets it sink in for his friend. Finally, Randy speaks up.

"Do you know where they're taking him?" Randy asks.

"There's a warehouse by the gym we all use. It's about a mile down the dirt road just past the gym. It's tucked back in the woods." John stops and coughs again, spitting more blood on the ground. "Please hurry, Randy."

"I will. I'll see you at the hospital, John. Please be okay." Randy says seriously.

John hangs up and immediately dials 911, collapsing onto his back with the phone to his ear. As the ambulance rushes to get to him, all John can think about is that he hopes beyond all logical reason that Randy makes it in time.

 

**43\. Speed**

Randy can't get to the hospital fast enough as Justin sits shaking in his passenger seat. He knows from the way the young wrestler's arms hung that something is very, very wrong with his shoulders. He doubts Justin notices. The South African is completely silent, focused only on the road in front of them. Randy's gaze flicks over to Justin every so often, making sure he's okay. He's hardly spoken since Randy had busted into the warehouse Nexus had fled to with him.

Randy'd been shocked. Justin's arms were still bound, but he wasn't restrained to anything. Instead, he stood over Wade, kicking at him, hard. The younger man was screaming, tear tracks covering his face. All the other Nexus members were spread around, utterly unresponsive, including Barrett, but Justin just kept on kicking. Randy had rushed over, grabbing Justin and pulling him off the British man.

"Hey, whoa, stop!" Randy cried out. "Justin, he's out! They're all out! You're safe."

Justin struggled in Randy's grip, and Randy tightened his hold almost until the younger couldn't breathe. Randy's words slowly drained into Justin's conscious and he stopped fighting, slumping in Randy's grip. The older pulled the knife out of his pocket and quickly freed the South African. He turned Justin around in his arms to look over his front and was assaulted with the young man's expressive eyes.

"How...?" Justin rasped out.

"John called me." Randy clarified.

Justin's eyes snapped open wide and his expression turned panicked.

"John?" he exclaimed worriedly.

"He's on his way to the hospital."

The Viper scooped up the smaller man as carefully as he could and began to walk to the car.

"Which is where we're going right now."

He had loaded Justin into the car. Now, he rushes as quickly as he can, not just for John's sake, but for Justin's. The older man doesn't know what he'll do if something happens to John, especially before they get there. Randy pushes the pedal down harder. John will be alright. He has to be.

 

**44\. Fear**

Justin's not sure if he's ever been as scared shitless as he is right now, pacing around a hospital room. Both his arms are in slings from where the doctor had re-set his shoulders. They'd been popped out of place when Nexus had restrained him. Now, he's just waiting for word on John. He just wants to hear something, anything about whether or not John is okay.

When he and Randy had initially reached the hospital, Justin had kind of spazzed. The second they'd been brought into the main area of the Emergency Room, Justin had taken off, finally reaching the trauma room where the doctors were fervently working on his lover. He'd heard words like "blunt trauma" and "internal bleeding" and "organ damage" and "broken ribs" before someone had finally managed to drag him out and into his own room to be treated. Randy had had to block the door to keep the high flyer from escaping once again and going to check on his lover himself.

Justin's absolutely terrified, but right now, all they can do is wait, and hope for the best.

 

**45\. Heaven**

The room is silent, save for the beeping of the machines that are keeping the Superstar alive. Justin is slumped over in a chair, his head resting on the bed, his arms still in their slings, resting on his lap. His face is turned toward John's, even as he dozes. The Viper sits perched in the corner on another chair, watching over the two as they sleep.

Randy was almost confused by his own actions. He hadn't even known about the relationship until a few hours ago, but now that he knows this is what had been helping John keep his head straight in this whole mess, he's determined to do anything to make sure it stays that way. They're still unsure of John's actual condition. He's unconscious, and has been since he got out of surgery. The doctors said they had hoped they had been able to fix everything, but the only way to be absolutely sure was if John woke up. So far, he hadn't.

Justin hadn't left John's side since they'd finally let the high flyer see his lover. Randy'd had to physically support the younger when the doctors mentioned there was even the slightest chance John wouldn't wake up. Justin had cried, apologizing profusely to his slumbering lover and clinging to Randy for dear life. Randy had almost broken down himself at the sight. He didn't know if he'd ever seen love that intense. The only thing comparable were his own feelings for his daughter, but even those weren't the same.

Suddenly, the Viper is ripped from his thoughts by a light groaning coming from the bed. He snaps to attention and locks eyes with John's. His own widen and he jumps up, silently, almost slithering up to the side of the bed.

"John!" he exclaims.

"Shh!" John replies quietly, a serious expression on his face as he motions with as little movement as he can to the sleeping South African.

Randy stops, then smiles ever so slightly and nods.

"How are you feeling?" Randy whispers, leaning in so he can talk to John without disturbing the younger (and Jesus, Justin does look so young and innocent from here, like this).

"Everything hurts." John responds. "How's he?"

John's gaze hasn't left his lover since he woke up.

"Worried, mostly. When those assholes tied him up, they wrenched his shoulders back too far and they popped out of place. The doctors had to reset them. He's gotta wear those slings for a while. Other than that, most of his damages were minor." Randy explains. "You would have been so proud of him, John. The bastards didn't get a chance to lay a hand on him. They pulled him out of the van and got him inside and he got loose and went nuts. Knocked em all out. He was still beating the fuck out of Barrett when I came in."

"Really?" John asks, smiling fondly at the younger as he runs his fingers through Justin's hair softly.

"And truly." Randy replies. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Well, I feel like I got run over by a truck, but that's to be expected, I guess." John says. "But, he's alive and he's gonna be alright, and I'm alive and awake, so I think I'm gonna be just fine."

Randy opens his mouth to respond when they notice Justin's eyes blinking open and the younger lets out a slight groan of his own. Justin's gaze finally focuses on John's open eyes and smiling face and he jumps up, almost falling on John when he remembers he doesn't have use of his arms.

"Oh, thank God. You're awake!" Justin almost cries out.

"I am. So are you!" John returns, smiling brightly.

Justin returns John's smile.

"C'mere." John says quietly, resting a hand on the back of Justin's neck and dragging him down for a tender kiss.

Randy just stares nearly in shock. The kiss lasts only moments before they pull back. They don't go too far though, John's hand still on Justin's neck allowing Justin to rest his forehead on the Superstar's. They're both smiling so brightly; Randy doesn't know if he's seen anyone this happy either. He almost feels like he's intruding on them, like he's interrupting an intimately private moment as the two whisper soft phrases back and forth to each other, exchanging quick kisses every so often.

The Viper knows he should call the nurse, let them know John's awake, but he figures he'll give the two lovers some time first, turning away to give them at least some privacy as they continue to get lost only in each other.

 

**46\. Completion**

After it's all said and done, Wade Barrett finds out he's going to be spending a long time in prison. Apparently, his plan had been to kill John and then make Justin look as if he'd gone to another warehouse and killed himself. Unfortunately for him, his plan hadn't counted on John _or_ Justin being quite so strong.

They also press charges against him for their treatment while in the Nexus. John had found out after he got out of the hospital that the reason Justin had stuck around so long was that he was contractually bound to Barrett. The Nexus leader had made all the members sign contracts at the very beginning basically stating they weren't going to take advantage of him or double cross him to further their own career, and they would acknowledge him as their leader and follow his commands. He'd altered Heath's and Justin's to include that they would follow ALL of his demands, and if they didn't he could use whatever means he saw fit to discipline them, as well as a few clauses about paying the bills on time and being good roommates. He'd been clever enough to slip the first clause into the middle, so when they boys signed, they'd only seen the additions at the end. They'd been screwed from the start.

Fortunately for Justin, they find out that the whole mess was sixteen kinds of illegal. The contract is declared null and void, and Barrett collects a few more charges. John sues as well, claiming misuse of power amongst about a million other things. No one mentions any of the sexual abuse. They're content in the fact that Barrett won't mention it for fear of collecting even more charges.

After the sentencing hearing, they pick up a pizza and take it back to John's apartment, where Justin's been staying since John got out of the hospital. They haven't gone out to eat since the accident because Justin can't feed himself. He's not supposed to move his shoulders at all for the next month at least, and then he has intense physical therapy. He has terrible damage to his shoulders, and if he's not careful, it could be permanent. He doesn't even want to think about what he'll do if, after all this, he can't even wrestle.

John's been nothing but supportive, however, and it makes Justin love him all the more. John feeds him pizza as they watch TV, taking a bite himself for every one he gives his lover. It's a good system. After they finish, John pulls him over to sit between his legs, arms wrapping around the young South African loosely. They're quiet for a bit until Justin finally speaks up.

"I don't know how you do this." he says quietly.

"Do what?" John asks, nuzzling his face in Justin's hair.

"Take care of me like this. Feed me." Justin elaborates.

"Because I love you." John says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe it is.

Justin, still unconvinced, tries again later as John's helping him shower.

"Seriously, why do you do this? Why do you help me do everything? Why not do like the doctor said and hire a nurse or something? You're hurt too, John." Justin spills.

John pulls him close and breathes into his ear, "Because I can't stand the thought of anyone else touching you like this."

Justin's breath catches in his throat.

"I don't want you to look at anyone else the way you look at me. I want to be there for you, whenever you need it, for the rest of your life. Starting today." John says, pressing a soft kiss to the side of Justin's neck.

Justin bites back a moan.

"I want that too." Justin nearly whimpers.

"Good. So let me take care of you, because I love you." John finishes, continuing to scrub the younger down.

"I love you too." Justin responds, smiling. And he really, really does.

 

**47\. Freedom**

Justin thinks there is nothing in the world like the feeling of signing his name across his very own, independent wrestling contract after everything was said and done, Nexus disbanded once and for all (but the sight of the smile on John's face as his lover watched him do it came pretty damned close).

 

**48\. Supernova**

Months of pain and hard work in physical therapy have finally paid off. Justin's shaking as he stands next to John backstage. John holds his hand tightly, beaming beside him. Justin's so nervous he feels like he's going to be sick. His knees feel like they're going to buckle under him. John looks over at him.

"What's wrong?" he asks, noticing how pale Justin is.

"I'm so scared, John." Justin mumbles. "What if they still hate me? What if they all look at me and just see that asshole Nexus member?"

"Fuck em!" John exclaims, turning to run his hands up and down Justin's biceps. "People have hated me my whole career. I've been booed by at least some people every single night I've performed. It's okay. Those people don't matter. Just remember, for every single person out there who's booing you, there's someone else cheering twice as hard."

Justin looks up at John with a slight smile.

"Matt used to say something like that." Justin says with a bit more confidence.

"Matt's a pretty smart guy." John responds, smiling as well.

He looks around to make sure no one's paying any attention before he ducks his head and places a chaste kiss on Justin's lips. When he pulls back, Justin's flushing, but smiling. Suddenly, John's music lights up in the background.

"You gonna be okay? We don't have to do this. I can go out there right now and call it all off." John offers.

"I'll be fine. I promise." Justin responds, a new swagger about him.

"Okay." John says. He turns to face the ramp. "Here goes nothing."

Justin smiles and starts rolling his shoulders, testing them out, making sure there's no pain, as John runs out with a huge smile to greet the absolutely thunderous applause. Justin waits backstage and listen as John recites the speech they'd prepared, thanking the crowd for their unyielding support in his recovery, letting them know that they were the reason he'd worked so hard and was even able to recover and get back to the WWE. He tells them that in now way was what Barrett did right, or legal, and he'll be spending a very long time in prison for it.

"But throughout it all, there was one person who I could rely on no matter what to always be there for me. He had my back even in the toughest situations, and if it weren't for him, I don't know if I'd even be alive today. He means a whole lot to me. That being said, I'd like you to give it up for my friend Justin Gabriel!" John calls out.

_"It's my turn to fly, father be with me tonight. Ooh, I'm right on target. (Keep your dream alive.)"_

Justin hears his new theme music and thinks, _This is it._ He sucks in a deep breath before bounding out. The crowd is on their feet, all screaming for him, and his breath catches in his throat. He hadn't expected it to be anything like this. He stops and raises his arms with a huge smile, his eyes glossy and wet despite his efforts. The people get impossibly louder, and Justin victory pumps his fist a few times before running up and leaping into the ring to stand next to John.

The two of them look at each other and smile. As their eyes lock, the room narrows down to just them for just a moment. Both of them are nearly in tears of joy. John suddenly reaches down and grabs Justin's hand, turning back to the crowd and raising it victoriously. The arena shakes with the sheer volume of the crowd. Justin's completely overwhelmed. He had never expected anything like this. He absolutely can't believe it. It's everything he's ever dreamed of, and it's completely amazing.

 

**49\. Home**

Justin looks sheepish as he glances up at John from under his newly grown out light brown bangs. John reaches down and takes both his boyfriend's hands in his own. He can't help but to return the smile that's on the South African's face.

"What?" he asks with a laugh, tilting his head down to try and catch Justin's bright eyes better.

Justin's grin gets impossibly bigger.

"Well, see, I've been thinking." he begins.

"Uh oh." John says, one corner of his mouth tilting up slightly more.

"Shut up!" Justin chuckles. "Anyway...now that we each have our own individual contracts...and we basically have everything we've ever wanted...and the world is practically resting on our fingertips..."

Justin pauses and tilts his head up finally to look John in the eyes. John's almost blown away by the sheer amount of emotion on the younger man's face. Justin darts his eyes away and bites down on his bottom lip for a moment. He seems to be trying to figure out how exactly to word his next phrase. Finally, his face takes on a more determined air and he meets John's eyes again with purpose, but still with a shy, nervous edge to them.

"What do you think about us getting a place together?" Justin says softly.

John's eyes widen. Justin's turns away, focusing elsewhere. John mulls over it for a second. Justin's eyes flicker up to John's face, then away again, as he says,

"No one would have to know. I mean, I know the risk we'd be running, and it's perfectly fine if you don't wa-"

"That sounds like a great idea." John interrupts him.

Justin's head snaps back up.

"Wait, really?" the South African asks.

John almost beams at his lover.

"Absolutely. You're right, the world is at our fingertips. It's ours. Why not just enjoy it? And what better way to do that than to share a home with everything I've ever wanted?" John asks, pulling Justin in close and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He rests his hands on the small of Justin's back and leans back, just looking at him.

Justin's face colors just slightly and he ducks his head with a shy grin. "You're so cheesy sometimes."

"Yea, but you love me." John proclaims confidently.

Justin just nods, which makes John smile even more. Justin only really gets speechless when he feels overwhelmed. And from the way he's flushing, it's definitely a good overwhelmed.

"Well, we better get online and start looking at houses then, right?" John suggests.

As they walk inside hand in hand, John thinks, _It doesn't get much better than this._

 

**50\. Life**

John Cena remembers when he was first forced to join Nexus telling everyone that he couldn't not be in the WWE because it was all he'd ever known. The WWE was basically his life. He's not sure when his life had begun instead to revolve around a bouncy South African with cripplingly expressive eyes, but he knows now that no matter what happens, as long as the younger is with him, he'll be able to accomplish anything, with a smile on his face.


End file.
